Pirakabusters
by SSB-Episode-Writer
Summary: A Ghostbusters parody. When strange Pirakas attack Nintendo City, who are you going to call?
1. Prologue

Welcome to my next story that similar to the movie, "Ghostbusters". This is also my first HawkeyexMargaret pairing.

Dr. Venkman: Hawkeye Pierce

Dr. Ray Stantz: Capt. Falcon

Dr. Egon Spengler: Jimmy Neutron (Older)

Winston Zeddemore: Link

Dana Barrett: Margaret Houlihan

Louis Tully: Sonic Hedgehog

Janine Melnitz: Amy Rose (old version)

Gozer: Reidak

Mayor of NY: Mayor of Nintendo City

Walter Peck: Conrad Ecklie (CSI)

The setting is Nintendo City. Begin!

Prologue: Nintendo City Library

It is broad daylight as we see a sign in front of a huge building called, "Nintendo City Library".

Inside we see people reading books of all sizes and shapes. We focus in on a woman collecting the books that people left behind and never even bother to put them back. She puts them on a rolling book shelf and walks away.

She walks down stairs and into a place full of books. She walks down an aisle and puts the books she had in her hand in the slots. As she was doing that, strange figures appear putting other books back. When she looked to see, they vanished.

She walks away and walks to a desk and signs some clipboard. She walks away and reads some papers as the figures return open the drawers behind her and started to scatter all of the papers. She notices something strange and looks back.

She sees them all and becomes scared. She starts running away from the scene as far as she can. As she turns around a corner, she freaks out as something glows and a wind is blowing on her. We change into the Title Scene.


	2. Chapter 1: The Three Doctors

Chapter 1: The Three Doctors

We see people going in and out of a building called Nintendo City University. Corridor outside Paranormal Studies Laboratory We hear Dr. Hawkeye Pierce giving the ESP test. On door: "Dr. Pierce Dr. Falcon Dr. Neutron Pierce burn in hell Maid please make up this room as soon as possible"

Inside lab Hawkeye gives ESP test to a Male Student and a girl name Liane. The Male Student is hooked up to electrodes.

"All right, I'm going to turn over the next card. I want you to concentrate. I want you to tell me what it is," we see a man with pure black hair wearing a doctor's coat as he holds up a card with a star on it. He holds the card in front of the Male Student.

"Square?" the Male Student.

Hawkeye shows him card. "Good guess, but wrong."

He presses a button and the Male student is shocked.

Hawkeye holds a circle card up in front of Liane.

"Clear your head," Hawkeye said as Liane nodded. "All right, tell me what you think it is."

"Is it a star?" Liane guessed.

"It is a star!" Hawkeye lied. "Very good. That's great."

Hawkeye holds up a square card for Male Student.

"All right. Think hard. What is it?"

"Circle?"

Hawkeye shows him a square.

"Ooh, close, but definitely wrong," Hawkeye shook his head and shocks the student again!

Male Student's gum shoots out of his mouth. He puts it back in and keeps chewing. Hawkeye holds a plus sign card up for Liane.

"Okay. All right. Ready?" Hawkeye asked as Liane nodded. "What is it?" Liane didn't answer. "Come on."

"Figure eight," Liane finally answered.

Hawkeye pretends to be astonished

"Incredible. That's five for five. You can't see these, can you?

"No, no."

"You're not cheating me, are you?" Hawkeye asked.

"No, I swear, they're just coming to me," Liane said.

Hawkeye goes back to the Male Student.

"Okay. Nervous?"

"Yes... I don't like this," the Male Student complained.

"Don't worry, you only have seventy-five more to go," Hawkeye said and holds up a card with three wavy lines. "Okay, what's this one?"

"A couple of wavy lines," the Male student answered correctly.

"Sorry! This isn't your lucky day!" Hawkeye lied, only wanting to zap him just for fun.

"I know. I -," the Male Student tried to stop Hawkeye.

Hawkeye reaches for the little lever. Liane seems amused, so Hawkeye winks to her. The Male Student stumbles over some words before Hawkeye zaps him.

"Hey! I'm getting a little tired of this!" the Male Student yells at Hawkeye.

"You volunteered, didn't you?" Hawkeye asked. "We're paying you, aren't we?"

"Yeah, but I didn't know you were giving me electric shocks! What are you trying to prove here anyway?"

"I'm studying the effect of negative reinforcement on ESP ability," Hawkeye answered.

"The effect?! I'll tell you what the effect is! It's pissing me off!"

"Well, then maybe my theory is correct!" Hawkeye got up from his chair.

The Male Student rips the electrodes off his hands.

"You can keep the five bucks, I've had it!"

He runs out of room and slams door

"I will mister!" Hawkeye yelled at the Male student.

After a few seconds, Hawkeye walks up to Liane all calm down.

"You may as well get used to that, that's the kind of resentment that your ability is going to provoke in some people," Hawkeye said as he put his hand on Liane's hand.

"Do you think I have it, Dr. Pierce?" Liane asked.

"You're no fluke, Liane," Hawkeye said.

All of a sudden, Dr. Falcon enters the room, all in a flurry. He grabs stuff off shelves and walks up to Hawkeye.

"This is it! This is definitely it!" Falcon cheered. Hawkeye sighed in anger as Falcon began searching for items. "Did those UV lenses come in for the video camera? And that blank tape? I need it. The one you erased yesterday."

"Can you excuse me for a second?" Hawkeye asked Liane.

"Sure," Liane answered.

Hawkeye runs to Falcon, jumps up and smacks him on the head.

"I'm right in the middle of something, Falcon!" Hawkeye growled at Falcon. "Ah, I need a little more time with this subject. Could you come back in an hour, hour and a half?"

"Falcon, at 1:40 PM at the main branch of the Nintendo City Public Library on Fifth Avenue, ten people witnessed a walking, full brick, Piraka looking monster," Falcon said in a cheerful way. "It threw books off shelves from twenty feet away and scared the socks off some poor librarian!"

"I'm very excited. I'm very pleased," Hawkeye sounded so excited. "I want you to get right down there, check it out and get back to me."

"No, no."

"Get right back to me," Hawkeye finished.

"You're coming with us on this one!" Falcon told Hawkeye. "Jimmy went down there and took LKE valances. Went right off the top of the scale. Buried the needle! We're close on this one. I can feel it!" Falcon smiled.

"I can feel it. We're very, very close," Hawkeye said sarcastically. He walks over to Liane. "I have to go now, Liane, but I'd like to work with you some more. Perhaps you could come back this evening, say at -"

"Eight o'clock?" Liane asked.

"I was just about to say eight o'clock!" Hawkeye repeated. "You are a legitimate phenomenon!"

Outside Nintendo City Public Library Hawkeye is yelling at Falcon all the way there.

"As a friend I have to tell you: you've finally gone round the bend on this LEGO business," Hawkeye said. "You guys have been running your ass off meeting and greeting every schizo in the five boroughs who says he has a strange experience. What have you seen?"

We arrive inside the Nintendo City Public Library, reading room.

"Of course you forget, Hawkeye, I was present at an undersea, unexplained, mass sponge migration," Falcon bragged.

"Ooh, Ray, those sponges migrated about a foot and a half," Hawkeye said.

"Tell that to SpongeBob," Falcon said.

Dr. James Issac Neutron is under the table, listening to it with a stethescope. Hawkeye runs over to him and speaks in a zombie voice.

"Jimmy," Hawkeye groaned.

Jimmy is puzzled. Hawkeye raps table with knuckles, then slams it with a book. Jimmy is starled and jumps up.

"Oh, you're here," Jimmy said.

"Yeah, what have you got?" Hawkeye asked

Hawkeye, Jimmy, and Falcon began walking through the reading room.

"This is big, Hawkeye. This is very big. There is definitely something here," Jimmy said.

"Jimmy, this reminds me of the time you tried to drill a hole through your head. You remember that?" Hawkeye asked.

"That would have worked if you hadn't told my mother to stopped me."

A Library Administrator walks up to the three. He had brown hair and was wearing a suit.

"I'm Bob Beniful. Are you the men from the university?"

"Yes," Hawkeye answers. "I'm Dr. Pierce. Dr. Falcon, Jimmy."

"Thank you for coming. I hope we can clear this up quickly and quietly," Beniful hoped.

"Let's not rush things. We don't even know what you have yet," Hawkeye said.

They go to a smaller room. The women from before is lying on a table.

"I don't remember seeing any skin, but it definitely had arms because it reached out for me," she explained to the doctors.

"Arms!? No skin!? I can't wait to get a look at this thing!" Falcon sound excited.

"Peach, I'm going to ask you a few standard questions, okay?" Hawkeye asked as Peach nodded. "Have you or any of your family or friend ever been diagnosed schizophrenic, mentally incompetent?"

Peach had no idea what he said but answered anyway.

"My friend Toadsworth thought he was Charles Martinet," she said.

"I'd call that a big yes," Hawkeye said. "Uh, are you habitually using drugs, stimulants, alcohol?"

"No!" Peach gasped.

"No, no. Just asking," Hawkeye said. "Are you, Princess Toadstool, menstruating right now?"

Bob Beniful walked up next to him.

"What has that got to do with it?" he asked.

"Back off, man. I'm a scientist and a doctor," Hawkeye pushed Beniful back.

Jimmy ran up to them.

"Falcon, it's moving," he announced.

They ran off to catch whatever scared Peach.

We now see the three walking down the basement of the Nintendo City Public Library. Jimmy is in front, with LKE meter. Falcon has a video camera. Hawkeye is in the back, bored stiff. He starts making scary gestures at Falcon. They come to a tall tower of books.

"Look!" Falcon gasped.

"This is hot, Falcon," Jimmy said as he went to take a scan on the tower.

"Symmetrical book stacking, just like the Philadelphia mass turbulence of 1947 back on Earth," Falcon said.

"You're right. No human being would stack books like this," Hawkeye sounded so thrill to be with them.

"Listen!" Falcon hissed. "You smell something?" They go to a card catalog; it is covered with LEGO parts and were all gooey for some reason. "Talk about telekinetic activity! Look at this mess!" Falcon was astonished.

"Falcon, look at this," Jimmy said.

"LEGO waste residue," Falcon said.

"Pierce, get a sample of this," Jimmy hands Hawkeye a container.

"It's the real thing!" Falcon continued on.

"Somebody blows their nose and you want to keep it?" Hawkeye asked.

"I'd like to analyze it," Jimmy answered.

As Falcon and Jimmy continue talking, Hawkeye scrapes LEGO watse into a dish. Gets it all over his hands. Groans and grunts. Flicks goop away. Wipes hands and feet on books.

"There's more over here!" Falcon said.

"I'm getting stronger readings here, this way," Jimmy walked away.

"Come on," Falcon told Hawkeye who was still flicking goop off his hands.

They turn a corner. Hawkeye gives Jimmy the waste.

"Jimbo, your goop," Hawkeye said. All of a sudden, a bookshelf falls with a crash. Hawkeye turns to Falcon. "This happen to you before?" Falcon shakes head. "Oh, first time?"

Falcon nods. They continue. Jimmy's LKE meter goes nuts. They see a small Piraka.

"It's here," Jimmy gasped.

"A black and blue Piraka, and it's real," Falcon was awed.

"So what do we do?" Hawkeye asked. No answer came from the two. "Could you come over here and talk to me for a second, please?" He pulls Falcon by the ear. "Could you just come over here for a second, please? Right over here. Come here, Muscle Brain! Come here. What do we do?"

"I don't know. What do you think?"

Jimmy starts with calculator.

"Well to my calculations-," but Hawkeye stops him and slaps the calculator away.

"Stop that!" Hawkeye snapped.

"We've got to make contact," Falcon suggested. "One of us should actually try to speak to it."

"Good idea," Jimmy agreed.

They look to Hawkeye. He groans and goes to the Piraka. Falcon starts taking pictures.

"Hello. I'm Hawkeye. Where are you from? Originally," Hawkeye tried to sound nice.

"Ssh," the Piraka answered.

Hawkeye walks back to the two.

"All right. Okay, the usual stuff isn't working," Hawkeye said.

"Okay, I have a plan. I know exactly what to do," Falcon said. They came from around the corner and slowly began to sneak up to the Piraka. "Now stay close, stay close. I know. Do exactly as I say. Ready, ready, get him!"

The small Piraka turns into a huge monster and scares them. They run away.

Outside Nintendo City Public Library Hawkeye, Falcon, and Jimmy run away.

"Did you see it?" Beniful runs after them. "What was it?"

"We'll get back to you!" Hawkeye shouted back.

"What!?" Beniful asked.

But before he could ask anymore, they were gone.


End file.
